- Monday, 09 September 2013
Somewhere in our childhood we became conscious of what it means to “fail.” We feel we lose our power if what we do is not perfect, if we fall and get hurt, if we hurt someone else...
There was shame in getting an “F” or not understand something. In fact it could become such a powerful social force NOT to fail, you begin to avoid how you could grow. You put yourself inside the very box we want to dismantle.
Many of us have some area of our life that is so “hot” to avoid failure, it often is stopping us from achieving the goals we really want—our dream job, relationships, childhood fantasies we could fulfill if we had the courage to move or go back to school. For many of us today, becoming the best manager of people transformation is what will keep us inspired in whatever path we choose, but that comes with a fear of rocking the boat. What ever you can dream as a goal that brings you engaged inspiration, on its downside there is often a fear of what it will take to achieve it.
What if the new norm is that to FAIL is to Succeed?
- Monday, 09 September 2013
It really is never too late to have a happy childhood—as an adult and starting at work.
Inspirational early life teachers and parents often passed on the most important life values that make a leader, anyone that others follow with a faith and commitment to their mission. They just took them to heart.
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Be Kind
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Be Patient
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Share Your Toys and Ideas
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Use An Inside Voice
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Be Humble And Say Sorry When You Know You Should
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Clean Up After Yourself
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Do Not Exclude
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Be Brave And Speak Up When You See or Hear Injustice
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Hurting Someone With Words or Fists is Never, Ever, Right
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And Lastly Again—Be Kind
Everyone at sometime is in the need of a nap, food, comfort and someone to appreciate their talents and rub their back.
- Sunday, 23 June 2013
The greatest teaching moments in life often come when no one is looking but you. 
In a Forrest Gump moment the feather floats down past your nose and you realize that you have been blessed with a “forever memory." Those memories that you just cannot forget and can be pulled up whenever needed. You carry these memories in your minds camera, and cherish them in your heart because they define what it means to me a human in community. This is a story that until now, few know it happened. There are many of these stored in my heart. I often do things in the name of kindness that are for me to share with just myself. This is one of those moments and I am using it as a teaching fable to illustrate the power of kindness and elegance in action. I used to travel often around the country. After several of these trips, I begin to become aware of the many homeless people found on the way to exceptionally beautiful events filled with great food, wine, and entertainment. The irony of this did not escape me and I always brought a “give away” budget to share with many of them on the way.
One late evening in Washington DC, I arrived at my hotel and realized I needed some supplies for an early morning meeting. As I walked the several blocks to a drugstore it begin to snow with an icy fierceness I have never experienced in California. In my huddled hurry I almost passed an elderly man wrapped in cardboard, pressed up against a warmer store window, his eyes closed and filling with snowflakes. His hands were clasped in front of him, lifeless, and I walked over afraid he might be dead. “Hello sir, hello sir” I whispered to him as I felt his hands, may I get you anything? He nodded his head slowly and huddled back into his cardboard. I looked around wondering where would he go tonight, how would he keep warm, where was food for him? It is a helpless feeling and I did the only thing that would make me feel empowered. I walked into that drugstore and spent all my travel budget on blankets, food, gloves, a jacket and hats. I brought these out to him and told him I could not leave him cold and hungry. “Thank you” he whispered, “thank you for not finding me invisible.” I slowly helped him put on the gloves over his cold gnarled fingers, placed two hats on his head, wrapped a scarf around his head, and lay out food for him. A tear rolled down his face in gratitude for something that no human should be thanked for–for showing respect, kindness and humanity to someone in need.
In reality he was not being helped by me, I was being lifted by him. I begin to understand that moments of grace, of magical human connection–come when you reach for them without planning. When you are in an ego state of not needing anything back in return. This is the reward of kindness, a state of grace and elegance that you cannot buy or coerce—it is frosting of life found in true human connection. I walked up the street towards my hotel and turned back at the end of the block for on last look. What? I was shocked to see he was gone! Then I spotted him across the street shuffling in determination with his large bag. Except it was almost empty from handing out blankets and food to the other homeless people huddled in the snow.
They were not invisible to him, they were in need of kindness, respectful acknowledgement and a human touch… And he was happy to share all that he had. These moments of no one watching your actions, of defining your character by your actions, are the diamonds in our life story. They sparkle with hope and promise and keep your spirit warm when nights are filled with snow, darkness and hunger. We cannot always be good, we won’t always be fair, we might even be angry with the wrong people at the wrong time. We will hurt people with our unconscious behavior. But we can always strive to be kind. It is the great equalizer. This is what Speaking in Elegance means. Your true character is modeled through your words, actions and human connections. Stay conscious of them. Be elegant, you’ll feel the difference.